I am writing this for all the adults that may be involved in youth sports now and in the near future…

I say near future as that period in a child’s life comes and goes very quickly. And, it can be a very important time in the child’s growth and development.

It can also be a time that leaves scars. I don’t mean physical injuries, although they do happen. Those also happen getting out of bed, riding a bicycle or climbing a tree. Life is risky business. I mean the mental scars that can show up many different ways. Some of you already know about yours.

In my opinion, the parents of these “unknown athletes” cause the biggest problem. By the way, there are over 10 million kids participating in sports every year in our country alone. It can be one of the greatest learning experiences available to young people. Misused, it can cause lasting damage.

“So what’s the problem?” you ask. The biggest problem is that there is a big gap between the parent’s view of the future and the child’s view. Dad is seeing his son and daughter in the uniform of his favorite college team and Mom is making sure the child doesn’t lose sight of the parent’s outcome. The problem is that the child’s view of the future might be as far out as whether or not he or she will get to play in the next contest.

The clarity of the future is what calls for our daily action. “Foggy” or “far out” don’t provide clarity. Too much emphasis on performance by the parents keeps the child uncertain. More fog. Asking the child to live the parent’s dream is cruel and unusual punishment. Aren’t these “unknown athletes” supposed to be having fun?

In all fairness, parents are not trained to watch their children perform, period. It might be one of the more difficult things parents do. It’s “yahoo” when they do well and “oh my” when they don’t. The parents have one basic task–support their child’s efforts by expressing their love. Don’t create big gaps between where they are and where they want to go. Let the coach, coach.

I know there are BIG outcomes out there … college scholarships, professional contracts, etc.

If they have the skill, talent and ability, that slow walk through the woods is more effective than crashing through the underbrush.