One of the most useful tools in your tool box for building relationships is acknowledgement. However, instead of carbon steel, we use it as if it was made of plastic and would wear out quickly if over used.

Before I go any further, I need to check something out. You are intent on building relationships with your players? The old model was along the lines of the player needs to figure out how to get along with the coach. Do you think this kind of relationship is sufficient to get that 100% effort you ask from every player?

The leader’s primary responsibility is to create the most effective relationship possible. That means the job is never done. It is always a work in progress. You need all the tools you can find and one of the best is acknowledgement.

We tend to be extremely stingy with our acknowledgements. Oh, we hand out the “atta boys and girls” for exceptional performance. It is hard to ignore them.

What about everyone else? Since no one can accomplish anything by themselves what about those who contribute to producing that exceptional result? What about the player who rarely gets into the game and practices at 100% every day? What about the employee who is always at work, on time and ready to go? So consistent that their work just fades to the background, like elevator music.

I suggest that you consistently acknowledge your team and individuals for their contribution to the team. Sure, there will be times to acknowledge individual effort or what you appreciate about them. In our commitment to great team play, your acknowledgements will be most effective when directed in that way.

Acknowledgement is a two way street. As poor as we are at giving it we might be weaker at receiving it. We can be nervous, uncomfortable and wondering if there isn’t someone behind us that the acknowledgement is really intended for.

We may also tend to down-play it with “As shucks I got lucky” or “no big deal”. Please remember that acknowledgement is a gift that someone is attempting to give to you. A simple “thank you” will suffice.

When you acknowledge someone speak in first person. In other words, it isn’t a eulogy.
Speak directly to them not about them. It is n’ he or she did this or that. It is “you are”, or “you did” or “I want to appreciate you for.”

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Do not tell the story about why you are acknowledging them. Just make the acknowledgement. Besides your story will put them to sleep and anyone else who is listening to it.

How long you have known someone is not a factor in whether or not you are able to acknowledge them. There is always something to acknowledge them for.

I could acknowledge you for being where you are without knowing anything about how you got there. I could acknowledge you for what it takes to be a parent just knowing that you have kids and nothing more.

Every time you acknowledge someone you move a step or two closer to having the quality relationship you want. You actually begin to feel related.

What stops us from acknowledging someone anyway? Maybe they will make fun of what we said. Perhaps we don’t give away the “good stuff” because there might not be enough to go around or we won’t get our share. I don’t know. I do know we are stingy with this amazing gifr.