I opened this weeks edition of Sports Illustrated and there was Alan Shipnucks article, œThe Mystery of Erica Blasberg.  A tragic story of a talented young lady athlete who committed suicide at age 25.

Having worked with hundreds of young athletes, male and female, and their almost love/hate relationship with their sport I am not always shocked by something like this.  This is not true for all young athletes, of course, but way too many to be ignored.

No one is going to be great at their sport if at one time they didnt love it.  So, what happens?  I dont think it is a simple answer but if I had to pick one thing I would say it is the inability to create a powerful relationship with the expectations of others.

So, what others?  Parents lead the list followed by coaches, friends and family members.  And, lets not leave out the media.  Give me a list of those highly ballyhooed, cant miss athletes that actually lived up to their rep and I will give you ten that didnt.  Read œMoney Ball by Michael Lewis and you will see what I mean.

The media wins either way.  Theres drama in reporting successes and drama in reporting failures.  Of course, there is real drama in reporting a suicide.  The perpetrators last œscrew you to the world for not allowing me to be myself.

I am not blaming anyone here.  I am saying we are unaware of the consequences or our behaviors.  We forget that an 18 year old phenom cannot possibly see themselves the way a 45 year old sees them (parent, coach, media, etc.).  The 45 year old is projecting a future that the talented teenager cant really get.  After all the future for the teenager is Saturdays game and way out maybe going to college and being on a team.

I talk to young people all the time about figuring out something they love to do and doing that.  I would say the same thing to any of you.

Doing something for other peoples reasons is no life.  Deciding someones capabilities and pushing them in that direction without first asking them what they really want is a crime.

Our job in life with young people is to create choices and then support the hell out of their choice.  They will know when it is time to give up on their dream.  It is their life, not ours.  How do you know how something will turn out anyway?

You cannot remove the chuck holes from anyone elses road.  The biggest asset they can have is the support of their parents and others who love them.  By the way, are you living the life you chose?  If not, why not?

Back in the day, before TV, a young country boy walked on the playing field at Yankee Stadium in his pinstriped, #7, uniform.  His name was Mickey Mantle and he was 18 years old.  For him, the expectation of others hadnt quite hit him yet.  Of course, New York City would take care of that in a heartbeat.

As great as Mantle was, I still wonder what his experience would have been if he had a relationship with other peoples expectations that empowered him.  My bet is he would have had fewer injuries and a different experience with alcohol.

I know, he is an all-time, all-timer.  Hall of Fame, the whole 9 yards.  I wonder how much of the time he appreciated that when he was playing?  Of course, there were moments.  And, I am sure his love of the game kept him in the game.  Todays Mickey Mantles are inundated with the expectations of others before they even have a chance to put on the uniform.

If you have the opportunity to support anyone in fulfilling their dreams, dont mess it up.  Support, encourage and most of all, be there if the going gets tough.  They need to go through whatever is there to go through.  They just need to know you will not give up on them in the process.