In other words, I commit 100% of my energy to figuring out what I can do to have the relationship work. To do this, it might be useful to distinguish what 100% looks like.

Coaches have been talking to their athletes forever about giving 100% effort. They even started talking about giving 110% which is, of course, nonsense. Consider that the outstanding effort is merely the closest the athlete has come to 100%.

100% is and ideal which them makes it unattainable. To fully grasp what 100%-0% is about, consider 100% is mastery. You could be thinking, mastery of what? Mastery of the Art of Relating.

It is very likely that there will be those relationships that our 100% effort was insufficient to provide what was needed to continue the relationship. Things do not always turn out the way we would want. If I know I did all I could see to do, I can let it go. It is no longer an issue for me. No woulda, coulda, shoulda’s.

Back to mastery. Mastery is a path I am on, not a place to get to. In mastery (or 100%) there is growth and development. There is high intention and clear commitments. There are the actions to back them up.

Every action I take is not going to turn out. I can’t let that stop me. Action is the only thing that produces anything. If I am giving 100% it requires some specific actions.

Number one, my actions need to be a match for the intentions I have and the commitments I have made. Otherwise, my talk is cheapened and, we create our life in our talk.

Number two, when I fail to do what I say I will do I must take the responsibility for cleaning it up. No loose ends. If I fully complete a relationship that didn’t work it is possible to have a platform from which to create a new relationship in the future.

This is not pie in the sky. My business partner, Sharon, for nearly 25 years was my wife for 20 of those years. Despite a divorce, we were able to create a business relationship that works.

The last thing I want to say is that having great relationships in every area of your life is simple. Be clear I did not say easy. It requires that we practice 100% in ALL the relationships we have.

Remember, 100% is just a path, like mastery. Are you learning, growing and fully engaging in the game? That is the question to keep asking yourself.

Get your copy of Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing, Coaching Athletics and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World is available on lulu.com or vervante.com If you are a leader this is a great investment for you.

One of the great things about the TEDx conference was getting to listen to the wide variety of speakers that ranged from teenagers to oldsters like myself. However, one of the disturbing themes I heard from the younger speakers was that in their educational process they were discouraged from pursuing their dreams. And I thought education was about having your dreams! Here are a couple of examples.

The first speaker of the day was Johan Khalilian, a native of Chicago. He is in his early thirties now and was relating what he was told in High School. There were two things that he told his counselor that he wanted to do—attend a particular college and play basketball there.

Now, he was a sophomore at the time when he was given the news that he wasn’t good enough (talented) to do either. The nun (he was attending a Catholic H.S.) who was his counselor was very clear that he should lower his sights.

This was the Michael Jordan era in Chicago, so every kid who picked up a basketball wanted to be a player. Who is to say who will be able to accomplish what? No one knows. When I graduated from high school, I was 5’7” tall and I had my sights set on being a pro player. I accomplished that, and perhaps it was due to the fact that no one ever told me I couldn’t.

Since our actions every day are given by the future we have created for ourselves, what happens when someone rains on our parade? Primarily, we live life hoping something good happens. This is the low road.

Another speaker with a similar theme was Kendall Ronzano, a 15-year-old high school student. Kendall decided that she wanted to be a homebuilder and wanted to take classes that would support her efforts. Again, her counselor completely discouraged her from taking those classes.

However, this gutsy teenager refused to have her dreams crushed. She is currently building a house BY HERSELF! Her plan is to give it to Habitat for Humanity or auction it off and give the money to Habitat.

I encourage you to hear their stories as they tell them (see videos below). You will be inspired.

Our job as educators is to encourage young people to have a dream and support their efforts to get there. You do not know what can happen, EVER!! Anything is possible!

Watch the videos of their talks from the TEDx conference. Listen to these young people. They might inspire you to value that dream that you might have given up on. Besides, they tell their story much better than I do.

Johan Khalilian

Kendall Ronzano

***Be sure to go to lulu.com and get your copy of Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing, Coaching Athletics and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World”. It is a must for any leader.***

The title of my talk was, “The Key to Everything.” I had a mere eight minutes to deliver the message—the key to EVERYTHING is relationship. Everything we do and have requires the efforts of others.

Watch the TEDx video, and then continue reading below.

The concept is that in any relationship, it’s 100% me, and 0% you. In other words, I accept 100% of the responsibility for having the relationship work. Easy now, don’t go crazy on me! Of course, I want something out of any relationship … it’s just not where I choose to focus my energy. I really only have a say about what I do.

To be clear, I am talking about all kinds of relationships: romantic, friendship, work, family and even community relationships are included. My primary attention is on how this works with coaches and their teams. Where are YOU most committed to having great relationships?

Let’s look at this question: “What is 100%?” First of all, 100% is an ideal. The nature of an ideal is that it is unattainable. This looks like a set-up for failure, for sure.

What I mean is that in my relationship with anyone, I intend to find out what the other person needs and, to the best of my ability that day, supply it. It’s important to understand that on some days, you’re not going to have the same ability to supply what’s needed as the day before.

The point is; I am intentionally looking to discover how I can best contribute to being in a relationship with the other party. Your 100% will be made up of many different things. If I am absolutely committed to the relationship being great (why would you want anything else) it could require different actions. Some of these could be as follows:

-Being willing to address what’s not working

-Listening to the other person’s point of view

-Acknowledging the other person’s accomplishments

-Being clear about what I respect about the other person

-Making sure we are aligned in supporting each other’s commitments

-Speaking the possibility of something in the face of their resignation about the subject

-Being happy as a choice, not dependent on what the other person does for me

-Be a stand on the value of the other person, etc, etc., etc.

I am sure you can add to the list as you fully explore 100%-0%.

There is more to 100% than what I’ve said in this blog post. Stay tuned. I will address it in more posts to follow. Be looking for places where you haven’t been willing to give the gift of 100%. The first step is to become aware of what’s so.

**Coach’s, “The Art of Losing, Coaching and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World”, is available on-line at lulu.com. You will find ways that this applies to coaching individual athletes and your entire team.**

In distinguishing the possibility for growth in skill, talent and ability, you will see there is not as great an opportunity in one as there may be in another. By being clear about what you are actually working on you can create the most effective actions.

So what is skill? This is how I view it.

SKILL-The execution of the fundamentals of an activity with the objective being
a high level of performance.

Our skills can definitely be improved. Our growth in skills is caused by repetition of each skill of the activity and by repetition of a sequence of those skills. Practice, practice, practice.

Then we have talent. Some people can run fast, jump high, sing, dance, etc. without having spent a lot of time practicing. They are just doing “what comes naturally”. Talent, in my view, looks like this:

TALENT-Allows one to perform at a fairly high level without the practice
normally deemed essential. There is a natural feel for performing the
actions and an innate physical ability to perform.

Talent like skills can be refined. However, we will reach the maximum we can expect. There will be a time when our personal best is what it is.

If this is true, can we continue to grow? I say, absolutely. In athletics there will be a time when age will limit what we can achieve. However, I want you to consider that the most important factor in consistent, high level performance is ability. So what is ability?

ABILITY-The capacity to consistently apply one’s skill and talent at the highest
level regardless of the circumstances.

Ability has you make the extraordinary play in a pick-up game or a championship game. It is being a great putter in the U.S. Open or in your Sunday, $2 a side match with friends.
It’s making the two free throws to win the game just as you do when practicing on you outdoor court at home.

All of you know someone that clearly has skill and talent but can only show flashes of brilliance and rarely when it is most wanted and needed. It is the work we do to grow our ability that will make the biggest difference in our overall performance. When skill and talent have reached their maximums, ability can continue to grow.

Check out Coach Todd’s books on-line at lulu.com or Vervante.com.

An important question to ask ourselves in creating our future is “Have I limited that future before I even take the first step?” In other words, have I said “I can have this, but not that?”

We say anything is possible but do we live life that way? Do we go for the whole enchilada or is it “anything except?” Are we operating form possibility or predictability?

I think that perhaps the biggest roadblock to having our dreams is asking the question “how” before we have determined “what”. It is usually more productive when I can see what I want before I put the bus on the highway to get there.

If I don’t fully commit to my dreams, will I be willing to take the risk or will I settle for less because it appears to be safer? Without risk there is no chance to have the whole enchilada. More like a couple of tacos. Tasty, but not the full meal.

Here’s the upside to playing big. Even if you miss you will be further ahead than you would be limiting yourself from the beginning. Also, your failure will give you an opportunity to see what’s missing. This could ensure the success of your next effort.

When I was ten years old, I said I was going to be a professional athlete and a coach. At that time I wasn’t even sure which sport. As it turned out I accomplished both. I am saying this from “If I can do it, you can do it.”

Entering college I was 5’7” tall and weighed 135 lbs and basketball was my first love. However, I practiced as if I were 6’7” tall and weighed 225 lbs. Maybe it was just “dumb luck” or, maybe my commitment to being a good player was greater than my circumstances.

Between my first and second year (April to September) I grew 5 inches in 5 months. Still no guarantee of success at 6’0” and 155 lbs. Yet, I just kept practicing. In the summertime I shot 1000 shots a day on a dirt court. Also, I played my second sport, baseball, as often as possible. In fact, I even made the McClatchy Newspaper (Fresno Bee) all-star team which played an annual game against its’ counterpart from Sacramento.

The Fresno team represented the best players in the Southern San Joaquin Valley. My friend, Bill Weddle, Lindsay High School, hit a homerun in that game. It was a big thrill to be selected.

I continued to grow in size and basketball skill, talent and ability. Eventually, I got to 6’4” and 200 lbs. Those guard skills I developed when I was only 5’7” were paying off. Ultimately, I realized my dream. Anyone who knew me in high school would have said, “no way”.

Maybe I was too dumb to know any better. What I do know is that being clear about what I wanted and being persistent in my actions got me there. What are your dreams for 2012 and beyond?

Go to toddcoaching.com and check out Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing” or order it now at lulu.com

Of course, the real issue is who is controlling the process. A select few conferences, the media, the “Bowl Game People”? It’s all about the money. Don’t you think football could have an amazing show such as a real play-off and could do so without leaving anything on the table?

Little Butler University has twice played in the Final Four at the conclusion of March Madness. The Butler’s of the football world are NEVER going to have a chance to do that. Whether they could win or not isn’t the even a conversation to be had. Under the Bowl Championship Series they are already eliminated BEFORE the season begins.

The National Championship of anything is for the players to decide on the field of play. Deciding who can or cannot qualify in any other way than on the field is, yes I am going to say it, “UN-AMERICAN”. Our country has always championed the underdog. College football has dictated that the underdog isn’t even allowed to play.

I have a hard time believing that a very small group of people wouldn’t be able to sit down and figure out a playoff system that would include the bowl games as stops on the way to a National Championship.

The problem is two things (my opinion):
-Attempting to control which results in the rich getting richer
-A natural way that human beings tend to perceive things called “either/or”. Who says
that we can’t have it all?

What if my proposed group sat down with this perspective—Let’s see if we can figure out how to get everyone what they want. I am not naïve. There is a chance that compromises may need to be made. My bet is that even with the compromises the player, coaches and fans would feel that the National Champion was really a National Champion.

The National Champion has always been, at the end of the day, the last one standing. I think that team or person has earned the accolades and we haven’t just posed that everyone has a chance. No one needs to be eliminated before the season begins.

Check out Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing”, on lulu.com or vervante.com
Any leader will benefit from what coaching can provide any team endeavor.

The speakers range from a Tony Robbins, known world-wide, to people such as myself. The sole purpose of these conferences is to educate the viewers in a memorable way. I learned a lot in preparation.

One of the things I really got was the importance of story. People remember the story where they may not remember the data. They can relate to a story about someone rather than hear about an object. There is no life in things, only people.

My eight minute segment was centered on “Relationship is the Key to Everything”. How we relate to friends, family, business associates, communities, countries and even ourselves effects our experiences of life. Creating relationship is a process not a place to get to or something to have.

In 1970 I was hired to coach the NBA expansion team in Portland, Oregon. My job, as I saw it was to create a relationship between the NBA/Portland Trail Blazers and the City of Portland and the State of Oregon. We did that. My operating principle was that each fan got their money’s worth at every game.

The way we did that was by running the best fast break in the NBA. We scored over 100 points 80 out of the 82 games we played; which I believe is still a league record. If we played slow, we would be over-powered by the veteran teams. There were two other expansion teams that year who were in the same boat as we were and we were 17-7 against them.

We beat the defending champion New York Knicks and both the finalists for the 1971 NBA championship, the Milwaukee Buck and the Baltimore Bullets. Rarely were we completely out of a game and the fans appreciated that. In fact, we scored 48 points in the fourth quarter against the Knicks in Madison Square Garden. Another record I think.

We did what we did with our players on the court, and along with the rest of the organization, we did it by becoming members of the Portland community. In fact, some of those original players still live in Portland.

I am wondering if the current NBA players and owners have forgotten about those relationships with all of the current failed negotiations. It looks like a meeting of Prima Donna owners and Prima Donna players to me. The crowd roaring as the Blazers completed a beautiful fast break was appreciated by all. Are those days over?

Go to lulu.com or Vervante.com and check out Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing”. A must read for any coach or leader.

Have a great Holiday Season.

After accepting the invitation I did a little research on TED and began to realize that the short videos being shown on their site were on a variety of topics and are viewed in some cases by millions of people. Some of the speakers are known worldwide and some I had never heard of before.

So what’s my point? My point is that TED is an example that the influence generated daily on the internet is huge (I know you know this). The question is: Are we being responsible for all that power?

In working with the people who are putting on the TEDx conference, I am impressed by the ground rules for participating: purely educational; no commercials; and precisely timed talks. In addition, they are involved with the subject matter so as to insure a quality event. Contrast that with what else you can find on the internet and, of course, television you can find a huge disparity in quality.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a freedom of speech guy. I am not proposing controls of some kind. What I am saying is we have a need to exercise our creativity in the way we educate and that the internet will continue to grow as a source for people if quality is the intention. This is especially so for the younger generations who have always had availability to the internet and use it on a regular basis.

We also need to have a conscience about what is acceptable and what is not. If we can focus on what is valuable to the learner and not what is the most profitable we have a chance.

I think that when value is created for people, profitability will follow. I am all for people earning lots of money. I just think the profit needs to represent the difference we make in people’s lives.

In my first career as a basketball coach I never coached for the money. I just knew that coaches could make a difference. I probably erred too much on the side of not paying attention to the money. Still, no regrets.

At the end of the day, all we have is the knowledge that we added value to someone’s life. Hopefully a bunch of those someone’s.

Be sure to check out Coach Todd’s latest book, ”The Art of Losing”, Coaching Athletics and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World . It is available on lulu.com or vervante.com
Great information for coaches and leaders in any field.

The number of people who knew abut the charges for years and turned a blind eye grows larger by the day. Is the whole thing shocking? Yes. And, it isn’t. The Catholic Church covered up countless instances for centuries. We read something every day about an instance of abuse occurring somewhere to someone.

Back to Western Pennsylvania and the crater created by the hand grenade. So what has educated well-intended men cover up a crime that can cause such lasting damage to the victim? I don’t think it is just one thing and, I don’t think it is that complicated either.

Try this on. We have a tremendous desire to look good. Then you have a crime that is so foul that clearly no one with any association with it can come out “alive”. There goes that hand grenade again. Since the beginning of the human race abuses have been ignored, covered up and, yes, blamed on the victim. In this case it is pretty hard to blame a child.

However, what happened, happened. The media will make sure that every detail is revealed plus we will get detail that never happened. Such is the nature of gossip. Since the horse is out of the barn, a more pertinent question might be “what is it we can do to prevent any future occurrences?”

What happens with the perpetrators? I am sure there will be prosecutions of certain people. In our current society I am sure law suits will rear their ugly heads. Coach Paterno’s contributions to the Penn State community will be minimized. The whole thing happened on his watch. He knew and he didn’t act. Even if he didn’t know he is still accountable. End of the story.

Many are crying for sanctions to the football program. First, I don’t know what the NCAA has the power to do. Second, the athletes in the football program are not the perpetrators. Any sanctions on the program affects their lives greatly. But that is the nature of hand grenades.

This I do know. If there is a problem of any kind and any situation, the speed with which you identify it, and act on it. Next, get on with your life. This is critical. The longer the problem is covered up, the bigger it gets. It becomes the huge pink elephant in the corner. An untended elephant can cause a lifetime’s worth of damage and the elephant doesn’t care who might be guilty or innocent.

Get your copy of Coach Todd’s latest book “The Art of Losing”, Coaching Athletics and Thriving in a Made-for-TV World. On-line at lulu.com or Vervante.com

Always on the top of his game, Mr. Clutch, as he was known around the NBA, seemed to have it all. Yet he suffered. This very humble and very competitive man took the “super star” tag given to him by the media as a challenge to be great every night.

We were sitting together in the Forum one evening just before Jerry went in to suit up for the game against the team I coached, the Portland Trail Blazers. What he said to me in those moments was the problem with being a super star is he could never have just a “good night”. Thirteen points, six assists and five rebounds would be a fine outing for most guards in the league. Not for Mr. West.

I first met Jerry in 1960 in Denver, CO. He and I were both there to compete as members of teams competing in the Olympic Trials. Jerry was playing for the University All-Stars, and intercollegiate team made up of college stars such as Oscar Robertson, U. of Cincinnati, Walt Bellamy, Univ. of Indiana, Terry Dischinger, Purdue University and Darrel Imhoff, University of California.

I was playing for the Akron Goodyear Wingfoots of the National Industrial Basketball League which was the best amateur league in the country. Pros were not allowed to play in the Olympics at that time. Johnny Cox, University of Kentucky, George Swyers, Virginia Tech (Jerry’s idol growing up), Dick Boushka, St. Louis University and the giant 7’ 3” Swede Halbrook, Oregon State were some of the All-Americans that were my teammates.

Jerry and I were in George Swyers’ hotel room with some other players. I was struck by how the three time All-American was just excited to be talking to his idol George Swyers. Just being a guy from Cabin Creek, WVA.

We played against each other in the semi-finals for the trials which his team won. My job when in the game was to guard Jerry and I am proud to say I didn’t feel I was embarrassed. His team was the heart of our 1960 Olympic Team which was the best team ever until the Dream Team made up of NBA stars represented the USA.

After the Olympics, Jerry and I would cross paths. It was usually in the Marina Del Rey area of LA. One day we were having a beer and he was complaining that he had followed a 29 on the front nine of Riviera Country Club with a 32 for a total of 61. You see, his eye was on shooting 58, a magic number for great golfers.

Some of the other times we would talk about things he was attempting to figure out in his life. I always appreciated that he trusted me enough to do that. My last thought is “Jerry, take care of yourself. You are and always have been a class act. I am proud to have known you.”

Coaches, get you copy of Coach Todd’s latest book, “The Art of Losing” which is for sale on-line at lulu.com or Vervante.com