Every year I have a conversation with my clients about the phenomenon called the “holidays.” It’s a time of celebration … a time to express what and whom we are thankful for … a joyful season.

My concern is that I am not sure we are actually experiencing any joy. Are we so busy “doing” the holiday season with shopping and parties and a myriad of other preparations that we lose the joy? Or, is something else going on?

Here is one thing you can discover on your own that I know is a factor in our experience of the holiday season. It is a product of our past experience. And, I don’t mean last year’s turkey or what Santa failed to drop off at your house.

From an early age, most of our experiences are tied up in our reactions to things. How we see the world is in formulation when we are five, six, seven, etc. With that in mind please consider what I have to say next.

Most people are in a low-grade upset during the holidays. Are you thinking “What, is he nuts?” Holidays are great. This isn’t about “good or bad.” The low-grade upset is caused by the drastic change in the child’s schedule.

There are days out of school. There is travelling and we’re not at home. We have visitors (aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, etc.). There is shopping (for others. oh my!). The Pace of life is hurried. The adults are stressed. (Low-grade upset, huh?)This is where our reactions are formed.

Many people love the Holidays. Little kids love their routine. Whether you love, hate or something in-between, it is a time when there is an upset in the kids’ routine. Out of sync, creates fear, thus upset.

Notice your reactions. Be kind to yourself and patient with others. Slow down. Stop and smell the coffee. Everything will turn out the way it turns out no matter how much you fret about it. Remember, JOY!