One of the things I learned fairly early in life was that communication is what made things work or what it took to resolve things that werent working.  However this might be true, I received little or no training on what communicates.  So much for what you know.

There are three types of communications that are, with the advent of more ways to communicate, growing by leaps and bounds.  They are gossip, rumor and trash talking.

Today I would like to take a hard look at just one”gossip.  Words on the other two to follow.

My definition of gossip is any third party conversation.  In other words, any conversation about someone who isnt there.

We mostly think of gossip as the œdirt  Evil stuff or demeaning or belittling stuff.  It can also be very good stuff.  An example would be if I told you that Fred did a great job on the last project and Fred hasnt heard it already from me.

You are not trained to recreate my conversation, therefore, you will naturally add your little nuances to what you say I said.  Besides, Fred deserves to hear it directly from the œhorses mouth.  That would be me.

Gossip creates false impressions, breaks relationships, causes uncertainty, etc., etc.  All those things happen or can happen.

However, I think the biggest damage occurs to the gossiper.  It is a low-grade communication.  It does not represent you well.  It has you play small and irresponsibly.  People will listen to your gossip and they will never respect you for it.  Oh, they wont tell you that but it will be true, nevertheless.

Gossip is especially dangerous on teams;  athletic, project, family and any other group that is expected to perform together at a high level.  You cant afford separations because someone is upset about something they heard that someone said.

So, how do you stop gossip?  Simple.  Stop gossiping.  I didnt say it was easy.  Its like œhow do I quit smoking?  One, you need the support of the people around you, especially team members.  First you need to commit to stopping.  No commitment, I dont like your chances.  Have your whole team commit.

You see, like smoking, we are addicted.  Those periodicals available in line at the grocery store.  You know, the ones nobody buys?  Except they sell millions of copies every year.

Longest running shows on TV”Soap Operas.  They are just gossip in action.  We gossip on the phone, social websites, emails test messages, etc., etc.  Need I say more?

If you have something to say about someone say it to them.  Say it as a contribution.  If you arent welling to say it to them, consider it is an act of cowardice to say it to someone else.

Tune in tomorrow to take a hard look at rumor.  It creates the most  damaging environment  for any groups productivity.