My primary operating principle is that œRelationship is the Key to Everything.  If this is true, the  what is it we are doing or not doing that keeps us very average in playing the relationship game?

Be clear, I am not just talking about romantic relationships, although they are certainly included.  I am talking about friendships, work specific activities, etc., etc.  Any relationship is effected by the same dynamics.

Originally, we are attracted to someone in a particular way so that we begin to spend more time with each other.  Or, at work, as an example, we are assigned to work together in a department or on a project team.

Whatever the relationship is, the intention is usually to produce certain results.  Given this,  might it be useful if we clearly defined the PURPOSE of the relationship from the beginning?  Oh, we might know what we are working on,  in general, but are we really on the same page?

Lets take members of a team.  Their purpose might be to keep their code of honor and to clean it up when they dont.  Clear cut operating principle.  They may have other relationships on the team that have their own purposes.  Friendship, mentor, coach and player are some that come to mind.

Two people meet and over time are romantically inclined.  They like it so much they decide to make it permanent.  The step rarely taken is to stop for a second and ask the question;  œWhat is the purpose?

If one thinks it is to have a family and the other has no interest in that or it just isnt high on their priority list, the relationship is running up hill from the beginning.  How much you love each other will not overcome this.

I may want someone to run and play with.  You may want someone who supports your career pursuits and handles the details of the relationship.  If this is clearly defined from the beginning, you have a choice to proceed or not, depending on our willingness to provide what is wanted and needed.  You have given yourself a good chance for success.  Undefined, you are in trouble because the assumption will be that you are both playing the same game.

There is no formula for relating.  But you can set it up so that you give yourself the best shot at what you want.  From there, you need to pay attention, communicate and make adjustments.

Relationships are like plants;  they need watering.  They are ALWAYS a work in progress.  They are not things.  They are just a path you have taken together.

Originally, we are attracted to someone in a particular way so that we begin to spend more time with each other.  Or, at work, as an example, we are assigned to work together in a department or on a project team.
Whatever the relationship is, the intention is usually to produce certain results.  Given this,  might it be useful if we clearly defined the PURPOSE of the relationship from the beginning?  Oh, we might know what we are working on,  in general, but are we really on the same page Originally, we are attracted to someone in a particular way so that we begin to spend more time with each other.  Or, at work, as an example, we are assigned to work together in a department or on a project team.
Whatever the relationship is, the intention is usually to produce certain results.  Given this,  might it be useful if we clearly defined the PURPOSE of the relationship from the beginning?  Oh, we might know what we are working on,  in general, but are we really on the same page?