With only a few exceptions, every high school, college and professional football team played this weekend.  And, wonder of all wonders, 50% of them lost.

This is, of course, something that everyone knows  In any competition, there will be a declared winner which makes everyone else involved losers.  Are all  of those who didnt win really LOSERS?

Given that everyone loses sometime, I think the jury is out at least until we can see how those losers respond to losing.  Anyone can be great when they are winning.  The question is, œDo you stay the course no matter what the circumstances might be?  Are your principles only good as long as you win?  Is your intention to add value to the process still intact?  Are you a great teammate when adversity comes calling?

Anyone who can answer those questions with no loss of enthusiasm and passion is a winner in my book. (Speaking of my book, look for my new book on-line in October on YouPublish or lulu.com.  It is called œThe Art of Losing:  Coaching Competitive Athletics and Thriving in a œMade-for-TV World.)  In the 50 years I have been coaching, I find it interesting that the people who have experienced a tragedy or a near-death experience in their lives have no problem getting the power in those questions.  Do we have to go that far to get it?

The problem we currently have to deal with is that we live in a œMade-for-TV world.  Just identifying what is so.  I listened all weekend to the play-by-play announcers and their analysts (sports not psychiatric) talk about nothing else but winning and of course how much smarter they are than the coach on the field.  Not so much with those who have actually BEEN on the field coaching.

The primary opportunity available in athletic competition is the growth and development of the athletes.  The fact that it is entertaining, exciting and addictive are just by-products. Please dont start with the œwithout fans, ticket buyers, etc. conversation.  Just talking value here.

Dont get me wrong.  I love all kinds of competitions.  Putting 60,000 people in a stadium that love it is an exciting time.  However, the competitors would get the same values if the game were played in a pasture with 100 picnickers on the sidelines.  The value is in the participation.

I am sorry.  I forgot.  We live in a œMade-for-TV world.  Just identifying how are perceptions are shaped and our realities are formed.

I am not crying reform here.  I am looking at what is missing.  I am identifying that people are aware of the values to certain degree but there is a little word that minimizes the opportunity.  The word is œbut.  The coach can do all those wonderful things with the athletes but he has to win.  It is okay to have principles but not if it gets in the way of winning.

The second little word that keeps us playing small is œor.  I can have principles and standards or I can win.  I can be everything the athlete needs in a coach or I can be an asshole because I dont now how to do anything else.  Because I am afraid to be a human that has been given the honor of coaching someone.

In between games, I had the misfortune to hear an ESPN analyst propose that in order to win in the NFL you had to have a coupe of gangsters on your team.  I am certainly no moralist and have lived long enough to make every mistake in the book.  I refuse to accept that premise.  The analysts view dishonors every other player who isnt a œgangster.

If some one is going to pass judgment on my life, please do this.  Did I make a difference with the people who allowed me to coach them?  Did I treat everyone with dignity?  Yes would be all the reward I would ever need.  Everyone wants to win.  The question is œAre you satisfied with the difference you are making?