Since everything is created in language, what do you suppose boy/girl relationships are going to look at when this is the language used? Bitches, ho’s, whores, sluts, skanks, etc. Do you see any respect in those words? Is this how you want your mom to be viewed? What about your wife, your sister, your girlfriend, your daughter? (Oh, I see. They know you are just kidding, right?)
Of course not, you say. Our words shape our views. These words separate us. Girls, you need to check your language, too. Let’s add clown, toad, creep, jerk and asshole to our collection, along with stupid and boring. I am sure I have left out some choice words. Make your own list. We use and hear them so often that it just becomes “the way they are.”
If you coach a youth team of any kind you have the opportunity to begin to distinguish the ways that we can show our respect for each other. I don’t expect that the coach is another parent. However, on your team, you get to say what goes and what doesn’t. Find out what the athletes think about what’s appropriate and what’s not. Establish some ground rules.
What happened to “yes sir” and “no sir”? “Yes ma’am” and “no ma’am?” What happened to men opening the door for women when entering the car or house or shop? What is unclear about “No means no?”
Women, you are equally responsible for your part in this. You have no need to prove you don’t need us to make your way in life. We know. We just WANT to take care of you. Have you be happy. We want to be your hero whether we would be willing to admit it or not. It’s all respect.
One of the great assets anyone can have growing up is a relationship with a much older person, male or female. Grandparents are, of course, a natural, although some aren’t blessed with that opportunity. Retired people can be great. They may have actually done what you want to do or have a world of experience in areas of responsibility that a young person is going to go through.
50% of the population of the world is women. They are smarter and more intuitive than men. Our “get the job done” can be very supportive for them. They need to know we can contribute what we have with respect. Men really want to be respected for who they are and not a project to be fixed in some way. If we have our eye on the other person to determine what it is we can contribute that they need instead of what we need, things work.
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