Several clients are in Tempe, Arizona this weekend for a big intercollegiate women’s golf tournament. They are the coaches and athletes from several teams. The majority of them are members of PAC 12 teams. Some are not.

The teams and personalities on those teams shall remain nameless since the point of this is to address a problem that coaches in all sports face almost daily. That problem is the relationship that the parent has to the athlete and the relationship the coach has to that same athlete. They are rarely aligned.

First of all, parents have no idea about the level of commitment that coaches show towards their athletes every day. In most cases they are second only to parents in this regard. Highly committed points of view, no doubt. The concern is lack of alignment or the commitments between coach and parent.

I am not questioning how parents choose to parent. I know that they want their child to be successful and happy. The coach’s job is to put the best TEAM on the course for today’s competition. She is the ONLY ONE accountable.

So where does that leave the athletes? They want to play, of course. However, they need to respect that the coach is hired to develop the best team. It doesn’t matter what you think, I think or anyone else thinks.

The coach is the only one accountable. On teams it is the players job to support the decision and their teammates in the process no matter what their opinion is. Do you think that every member of a Navy Seal Team thinks alike? Aligned, they get the job done. Without that people die.

Life is not that dramatic for most, but the principle holds true.

The best way a parent can support the child is to encourage their “pride and joy” to work things out with the coach. If the parent has a concern, you have it, work it out with the coach. Stop asking the athlete to serve to their masters. Take responsibility for your life. No one can do that for you.

When it comes to their child, parents are insane people. The sanest people you know can be totally off in their perspective of their child. If this shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. I would try it on at least once.