In the art of impacting performance, empathy may be the the most important quality a leader can have. Having a good idea of what the learner is going through allows for an appreciation of the struggle it can be, and the lack of light at the end of the tunnel. I am not talking about sympathy.

     Sympathy = feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortunes.

There is no misfortune in the learner’s progress. There are mistakes made and corrected and that is natural progress. Nothing is broken. Nothing is wrong. It’s just part of the game.

     Empathy = the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

As a leader, you have struggled in your progress. You have promised and failed. Or, maybe, failed to promise. You have had tough losses and you are still in the game. You have wanted something badly and it has just been out of your reach. And, you are still around, moved on and even accomplished those things somewhere down the road. No one actually dies of failure or disappointment (even when it feels like we might). When they are screwing up, do not sell out. Hold them to account.

Sometimes the student doesn’t see what the leader sees, and until he/she sees it they can’t act. Sometimes the learner/performer is taking the proper action and has yet to produce the intended result. The leader’s message—just keep doing what you are doing. Success is right around the corner.

One of the things I hear from coaches is that their team quit on them. I want you to know the coach ALWAYS quits first. A word, gesture or plain old body language is all that is needed for the performers to “throw in the towel.” I say this with all sincerity; “never, ever give up on the performer.”

They may give up on themselves. And, chances are people have given up on them before.

Sometimes they are just on the wrong bus. I can’t fault them for being there. I probably helped them get there. When that person woke up this morning they wanted their life to work. It just might not happen where they are. Support them in making a move. I removed two people in 25 years from my basketball team. Both were successful on the new bus that I helped them find.

Sometimes people are just not ready for what is required of them. They are not bad people. Frustrated and angry maybe, but worthy of support. Unless, of course, you are the person who has never made a mistake.

       “The great gift of human beings is that we have the power

        of empathy.”

                                                     Meryl Streep

                                                     Academy Award Winner

Take a look at the Coaching Bookstore too!  There is support there for your leadership.