For the most part people look forward to the holidays.  A small percentage, of course, are œbah humbug about the holiday season.  Maybe this will help even them.

It is a time for family and friends, a time for giving.  I, personally, love the giving much more than receiving.  Maybe because I am older and dont have a big list of wants like I did when I was a kid.

Today I want to talk about the holidays in a way that supports you in having a great experience, and enjoying the holiday season to the fullest.  You deserve it.

Please just consider what I am about to say and check it out for yourself.  What I want you to know is that most people are in a state of low-grade upset.  œWait, you say, œpeople love the holidays.  Yes they do.  And they are in a low-grade upset.

Since the most impinging things that happen to us occur somewhere between the ages of  4-10 years old, and given children in that range are very attached to their routines, the holidays are a total interruption.  No school, people visiting, visiting people, Santa Claus, presents, decorating in the home, decorating outside the home, etc., etc., etc.  All of that is totally outside of their routine.

The holidays, whatever the relationship you have with them, are upsetting.   The upset is bubbling just below the surface.  We tend to be much more reactive than usual, on edge,  and our mood swings are bigger.

About this time you could be saying, So what, what can I do about it anyway?  Hang on, we’re almost there.

First of all, being present and aware gives you a shot at reducing the number of reactions you have,  or at least the intensity of those reactions.  The point of the holidays is to celebrate life and the people that you share your life with.

First, give yourself a break.  Dont be so critical.  Stop worrying about what you cant do and focus on what you can.  It all will be greatly appreciated.

Second, give the people around you some slack.  Remember, they are upset and unaware that they are.  Be gracious and charming and supportive. Have empathy when they get caught in their upset.

And last, look for opportunities to be of service.  Visit a hospital and its patients.  Volunteer to deliver gifts or food or anything that is abut them, not you.

Acknowledge and thank the people you love and the people who love you.  This Christmas will be the second without my daughter Shelley, who was killed Aug, 30, 2008 by a hit and run driver while out running.  It, however will be the first on her œhome court, Phoenix, AZ. Shelley was the Holiday Girl in our family.  She is greatly missed.

Dont miss the Holiday Opportunity.  There are no guarantees.  Live life now.