This weekend I had the opportunity to reaffirm the rewards of coaching as former players of mine gathered to honor their relationships formulated some 30 years ago. Most of the people attending brought their wives or significant others who had been hearing the stories about their husbands’ experiences for years.

As the head coach I was included in whatever the group was doing which afforded me opportunities to hear experiences that had them laugh and, on occasion, cry. Also, to see that they had solid lives, the usual stories about their kids and that they still had a great love for the game of basketball.

At one of our meals a lively conversation was in progress (about what I don’t recall) when one of the players (let’s call him Rob) interjected something that meant so much to me. You know, the reward. Rob said, “Coach, we didn’t work on basketball we worked on being better human beings.”

Of course we worked on basketball. What Rob had to say reflected the amazing environment that coaches can have to influence the lives of the people they coach. The ups and downs of competition, the relationships with their teammates, the relationship with the community, et al. are exaggerated in the compact season at a pace not experienced by non-athletes.

A team is the mirror-image of the coach. In other words, my relationship with them is reflected in their relationship with each other. How could I expect what is commonly referred to as “chemistry” to happen if I don’t have that in my relationship with each athlete on my team?

The number one aspect of any relationship is RESPECT! Aretha knew what she was talking about. Coaches start with that in place from the beginning. What is available is to have that relationship grow from there. Coaches, if you just respect the athlete and the process they are in called “growing up” and what a tough job that is, the foundation for a great relationship is in place.

All of you “youth coaches” out there, check out lulu.com and get your copy of “Hey Mom, Where’s My Glove?” It will support every intention you have for your young athletes. Every intention that you have needs to be reflected in the respectful way you interact with them, even if they are six years old.