No this isnt about the days of John Dillinger or the Chicago mobsters.  Or, whoever it was that shot all those people.

I am talking about the day that men are black-mailed into honoring the love of their life called Valentines Day.  Women readers, before you start heating up the tar for the feathers bear with me and answer a couple of questions for me.

Number one, arent you setting yourself up for just one time each year that your husband, boy friend, girl friend, etc. honors you?  After all its such a big deal maybe it will last for the 364 days left.

Second question.  œAre you giving him choice in the matter and are you training him to provide what you want and need?  I guess that was two questions, sorry.  Oh, you didnt know it was your job to train him?

Heres the deal.  Train him and get what you want or take what you get.  How do you think it will turn out?  How about every day was a mini-valentines day?  The retail merchants LOVE this special day.  One of the biggest for them in the whole year.

Here is the first clue.  Men just want their œsignificant other to be happy.  The problem is they cant figure out what you want.  I know, we are supposed to have this built in radar that tells us what you want.  If we really loved you we would have it. Bulletin!!  We dont have any radar and we never will.  Does that mean we dont love you?  Hell no.  We just dont know.

Are you thinking if I have to train him in what I want it will spoil the romance?  How are you doing in the romance department doing what you usually do?

If you got exactly what you want as often as you wanted it wouldnt you be inclined to be romantic?  Dont you have a part to play in this whole scenario any way?

No one can make you happy.  It is a choice you have.  You are responsible for your own happiness.  If you are being treated badly, end it.  You deserve the best.

If he tells you he loves you, make sure he knows what you need.  Remind him when he forgets.  Let him know that he is your hero and he will be the best friend, lover, partner, etc. ever.

Last thing.  He doesnt forget because he doesnt care.  He forgets because he is focused on providing for you, himself and the family.  Slip him the instructions so he knows how to get out of the box you have him in.

I think women are great.  We need the intelligence, beauty and, yes, the caring toughness you provide.  I love you and be sure that you love yourself.

If you really want the straight scoop find Alison Armstrong and PAX Programs on the internet and get yourself into a one of their workshops.  It will be the best thing you have ever done.